Blog
In memory of my husband
SIA member Kate Griffin recently got in touch with us following the sad passing of her husband Graham to say thank you for the support SIA gave to him.
Below she shares a personal and touching tribute to Graham and what they both went through when he sustained his spinal cord injury to remind anyone supporting a loved one, that SIA is there there when you need us the most …
“Excuse me, are you Mrs Griffin?”
“Yes?”
It was three thirty on Friday 29 November 1991. I had collected our youngest, Jessica, nine-years-old, from school and had taken her into Holmfirth to buy her a watch. We were just going into the shop when a policeman and a policewoman crossed the road to us.
“I’m afraid your husband has been involved in an accident. He is in Huddersfield Royal Infirmary at the moment but he will soon be transferred to Pinderfields Hospital as there may be a problem with his back.”
They had found me as they had called at our house and our elder daughter, Lucy, had explained where we were. They took Jessica back to the house to wait with Lucy and for our two boys to come home from high school and college. Meanwhile I drove to our local hospital.
The accident was not so much a matter of ‘if’ but ‘when’. No one who cycles as much as Keith escapes without an accident, or — if they are lucky — a few near misses. He averaged about seven thousand miles a year. Twice a day he braved the rush hour traffic to get to and from the university where he worked. For all our family holidays he would cycle to the destination and I would bring the children in the car. If we were going to Norwich where my family lived or Wiltshire where his family was he would set off in the very early hours and cycle all the way. As the children got older they would accompany him and he also took them Youth Hostelling. That summer, 1991, Keith and I had taken the two youngest, Ben and Jessica, on two cycling Youth Hostel trips: one to Wensleydale, the other to Shropshire.
As I drove to the hospital I realised that whatever had happened it was serious.
Pinderfields Hospital contained our nearest spinal injury unit and it was here that he was diagnosed with spinal injury at C6 and T6.
In spite of my initial realistic, practical thoughts about the consequences of his injury nothing was ever the same again for any of us. There wasn’t one aspect of our family life that has not been deeply affected by the results of the accident. The next day I saw the policeman in charge of the case and he told me that it was entirely the fault of the driver, Keith was blameless.
For the next two months he was flat on his back, and then gradually he was helped to sit up, and then the long gruelling physiotherapy work began. He took to it with enthusiasm as he was determined to get as active as possible. And he did.
He was able to walk, slowly with sticks, and able to use his hands with difficulty. He was told there was unlikely to be much improvement after about two years.
He was 46, fit, active, cycling thousands of miles a year, walking whenever he could in the Lake District and the Yorkshire Dales, taking our youngsters and their friends on cycling and walking Youth Hostel trips. He was also a keen gardener, so what he lost was massive.
But — remarkably — he never once expressed any anger, bitterness or frustration about what had happened to him.
He was a keen supporter of the Spinal Injuries Association. He followed the stories in the newsletter and valued what the charity did for those with spinal injury.
He went back to work and managed to struggle around the campus. He didn’t feel confident about driving as he felt that his reaction time was too slow to be safe and so he didn’t drive again. He stayed at work until he was sixty. Because of his resilience, pragmatism and strength of character I think people did not realise how difficult life now was for him.
On one occasion we were walking down the road to village and he seemed somewhat pensive and reflective.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
He replied, “I was just realising that walking, slowly, on the flat with two sticks like this, takes as much care, effort, energy, strength, concentration and balance as scree-running down from Scafell Pike to Wastwater.” And this was said simply as an observation without a trace of rancour.
Just coping with normal life was exhausting for him, but he hid it. Rather too well, perhaps.
But — crucially — he never lost his sparkle, his enjoyment of life, his humour, but above all his care for us, his family, friends and students. If I was going out, he would insist on getting himself to his feet, for a hug and a kiss and he invariably struggled to the front door to wave me off.
That was Keith – Written by Kate Griffin
Graham Keith Griffin (25 November 1945 — 8 February 2025)
Keith died suddenly and unexpectedly on 8 February 2025, and his funeral was held on 12 March, which was very well attended. Kate and the family kindly nominated SIA to receive donations in memory of Graham, and we’re incredibly grateful of their kindness and generosity.